Choosing sides

How do you deal with a family where half of them are die heart leftist and half of them are right wingers. Let me first define the left wing for you. The old romanticism of the red revolution. People with rebellious souls, who do things to make political statements.
Yes.. yes.. I am talking about the old mazdoor kissan party, the left wingers.. not the pseudo liberals who have no idea who they are and what they are preaching..
Now the right wingers around me. They are the oldest breed who grew on Mualnana maudoodis lectures, books and his doctrine. They talk about the renaissance in Islam. And that was pretty much it.
The political orientation of my right wing and left wing folks never created a problem. Consanguineous marriages were a norm hence culture ruled every thing else.
Women followed the centuries old code of man worship and things remained calm. There was never a debate about covering heads, showing arms or living in a far off land alone as a woman. Every one wore a chadder, prayed (yes even those married to the atheists) talked about spiritual happiness and things remained good….
Until this…
Time changed. The hope of 90′s became the despair of the new century. The rightwingers all of a sudden started wearing hihjabs.. ( well was n’t cahdder enough? I am still unable to understand the idea of a hijab in the horrible summer of lahore), they started talking, breathing eating Islam…
The long cord of culture, harmony and love that was actually joining the family has started stretching. It is not that elastic.. I doubt it…
That was not enough… And now last night…
On a dinner table among laughters and food I heard a nasty comment that made me weep. Yes .. yes things hurt when they are uttered by people you love. Apparently some one very close in my family said that women who wear half sleeves (not even sleeve less ) are adulteresses.
No I was not wearing a sleeveless or a half sleeve. My duppata was placed in the right way over my head.The comment was for some one else…
The stereotyping, the slandering, the name calling just to defend believes and that too from some one have the top credentials from a top school in the world..
Why I wonder?
Does believes or faith allow you to slander other? who are you to judge a woman who is not following your so called code. Or does not believe in what you say at a rational level.
For years… I was unable to decide who I was in actual spirit…
It is hard when you are living with both extremes. Was n’t it all political?
when did things became like this?
Probably I am also a liberal nazi…. Probably I always hated to make statements. Probably I hate to show case my religious identity. Or to prove how pious righteous and better I could be by wearing a 12 inch piece of cloth over my head. I refuse to…
If some one is allowed to wear that.. I have a right to be what I am…
Or yes.. That is the whole problem.. we do things to prove who we are rather than doing them for what they make out of us…
I will never be a true left winger like my uncle . I can never be a right winger because I like to question, I am too rational and I hate doctrines.. not that left does not have them.. but still those doctrines are not divine.. They are questionable. And I like that part! And yes I don’t believe that I am pious enough to go change others.. Hence I choose my middle grounds.. I always wanted to keep the both worlds..
But now it seems like I have to make a choice!
Let it be…

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